Moulding our children pt.2- al-Habib ‘Umar bin Hafiz hafizahUllah

Bismillahi wal Alhamdulillah wa solatu was salaamu ‘ala Rasulillah, here is a simplified transcript of Habib ‘Umar’s lecture at Alkaff Mosque after Isya’ on the night of 18 October 2010.

….The Messenger of Allah s.a.w. consistently reminded parents to nurture and protect their children in a hadith in which he said, “A father shall be responsible for anything that happens to his family at home. A wife shall be held responsible for her obligations towards her husband.” We are made responsible by Allah to provide halal food for our children and prepare them to live a good life. The greatest of all obligations and that which has a high standing by Allah is to pay careful attention to their faith or iman and their character. Everything that is beneficial for them be it for this world or hereafter, is allowed/can be given/provided for them while paying careful watch over their faith and character development. Blessings shall increase upon us if the jobs that we as workers in the government or private institutions possess taqwa or God-Wariness.

It is related that in Europe that a non-muslim employer called upon his muslim employees during Ramadhan and asked them if they were fasting and said that if they were he shall cut their pay since their productivity would be expected to be lower. Some of them decided to break their fast because of this but a small group declined to give up their obligatory fast. They didn’t mind a pay-cut and told the employer to do as he wish. The non-muslim employer then censured the group whom had decided to give up their fast for betraying the trust of their religion, he fired them as he believed it wouldn’t be possible one day that they betray their own company. While the rest who have preserved the trust of their religion was allowed to stay with no pay-cut at all.

Know that every muslim that obey Allah’s command and is steadfast in them helps to spread Islam to the rest of the world. By disobeying Allah and betraying the trust actually hinders people from entering Islam. Thus we need to reflect upon what we have prepared our children with as they would one day interact with others and work in companies/institutions. The nurturing companions of the Prophet s.a.w. brought their newborn to the Prophet s.a.w. who would feed some dates that he s.a.w. had chewed to the new born. Thus, the first substance that enter the belly of the newborn is a portion from the Prophet’s s.a.w. blessed saliva. While the bigger kids were commanded by their parents (whom were the Prophet’s companions) to visit the Prophet every morning to kiss his blessed hands and get leftovers from his ablution water. Since they were relatively small they could easily walk in and out of the Prophet’s s.a.w. house especially during the time the Prophet return home from the mosque during Duha period. Even before their children could walk they would bring them to the laps of the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

Among them (companions) would command their sons to bring a container filled with water every morning to the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. so that he could put his blessed hands inside the water which then became the family’s drink for that day. Such attention given by the companions made their children great leaders and men of great faith and Allah made this world and the next subservient to them.

During the battle of Uhud, the Prophet made the army stand in a row to see if there were any children and old men to be sent back home. Some sons of the companions out fear of being sent back would stand on their toes to appear tall and able. This (zeal they portray) is a result of the nurturing they received and a fruit of what they heard and saw when they were at home with their parents. At that battle, one of these boys was sent back from battle and came to his father weeping and was asked why replied, “How can I not cry when a friend of mine had his parents came to The Messenger of Allah to request that their son be allowed to fight and the Messenger permitted while I was told to go back, and if I were to wrestle with that boy I would overcome him, why can’t I fight in the battle then? Please request the Messenger to allow me to fight.” In our age now, it is difficult to find such children who would cry if they were left behind for congregational prayer or circles of knowledge but they would cry if they were left out of football matches or films that they love. This is an effect of upbringing. This is the first step, the beginning, what would then happen to them later?

The father in the story narrated earlier than went to meet the Messenger of Allah to seek his permission for the son to fight in the battle. The father added that his son was more capable than his son’s friend whom the Messenger s.a.w. allowed to fight. The Messenger s.a.w. then called for the other boy and told them to wrestle in front of him s.a.w. Indeed the boy whom was told to return proved more capable by subduing his friend. The Messenger s.a.w. then allowed both to fight in the battle. The blessings from an excellent tarbiyah or upbringing were evident in all their families.

to be cont’d Insha’Allah

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