Moulding Our Children Pt. 3 – Habib ‘Umar Bin Hafiz hafizahullah

Bismillahi wal Alhamdulillahi wa solatu was salaamu ‘ala Rasulillah

…In the battle of ‘Uhud, a lady from the family of ‘Amr manifested her excellent upbringing, her husband, and her father was both participating in that battle. Her father whom was already in his eighties and could hardly walked properly was told to reamin at home but he replied promptly, “Oh you would rather enter paradise and leave me behind? No, I shall follow.” When the battle was at its peak, Hind’ the aforementioned lady whom was the daughter of this old man ‘Amr saw an arrow headed towards the Messenger of Allah s.a.w.. She immediately went forward to shield the Messenger. During the battle, her husband , father, son and brother were martyred.

Their bodies were then brought to Medina after the battle to be buried. When the battle ended, the womenfolk including the mother of the lady went forth from their homes to welcome the Messenger of Allah s.a.w.. We well know that the battle saw many martyrs among the close companions of the Messenger of Allah s.a.w.. The infidels had spread false rumors about the death of the Messenger s.a.w.. The womenfolk went forth with tears in their eyes. The mother of the lady sat her camel and asked for news of the battle. Upon hearing the news that the Messenger of Allah was fine and unharmed, she said, “Any calamity is insignificant to me since the Messenger is well and fine.”

When she made a move to return, her camel did not budge towards Medina. But when directed towards the battle ground of ‘Uhud it was eager to move. Again she directed it to Medina but it did resisted and again she directed it towards ‘Uhud and it was as eager to move to meet the Messenger of Allah s.a.w.. The story was related to the Messenger of Allah s.a.w. who then said to the lady (wife of ‘Amr), “Did your husband ‘Amr said anything before leaving for battle?”
“Yes, Messenger of Allah, he made a supplication saying, ‘Ya Allah do not make me return home humiliated and grant me the honour of martyrdom in your way!'” replied the lady.
The Messenger of Allah then said, “That was the blessing of ‘Amr’s dua’, O men of Ansar!, verily Allah have servants whom when they make supplication, it is answered immediately among them is ‘Amr.”
When ‘Amr was about to be laid to rest, the Messenger of Allah s.a.w. said to Hindun (wife of ‘Amr), “Know ye Hindun that your husband, children and brother are in the same place in the Heaven of Allah s.w.t.” She promptly replied, “Dua’ for me so that I may be among them, O Messenger of Allah!”

When their burial was completed, the Messenger of Allah s.a.w stood by their graves and bore witness to their martyrdom in the way of Allah and that no one sends blessings to them but that they hear it until the Day of Judgement.
After the battle, whatever that happened happened among the companions and some of them requested the Messenger of Allah s.a.w to ask for the destruction of the infidels but the Messenger of Allah s.a.w. instead supplicated, “Ya Allah grant them guidance for they do not know that I am your Messenger”

The third most important influence upon our children is their companionship for the Messenger s.a.w. mentioned that a person is upon the religion of his close companion (his character, inclinations are influenced by his/her companionship etc.). Our duty as parents, we are obligated to choose decent friends for our children as a person’s mannerisms can be reflected upon another. We have to cultivate them early to sit among scholars of the religion for their future well-being. However if we’re negligent, and we let them sit among indecent company, theirs will be an indecent, despicable future. Isn’t wondrous that we pay attention to the upbringing of our children for a pious son or daughter becomes a source of good for their deceased parents whom benefit from their acts of piety. The following is a story from which we can learn a beautiful lesson.

A pious man saw in his dream a group of people whom were given some servings of food. These people rushed towards the food to grab for themselves except for a man who remained in his spot. The dreamer asked the man why he didn’t take the food and why the rest were rushing for them. Upon which he answered, “They are actually grabbing the rewards from the recitations that were sent forth from the living muslims.”

“Why then do you not grab these blessings/rewards?” asked the dreamer. “Oh, I’m not really in need of the rewards as I have a son who actually completes reciting the Quran daily and pray for its rewards to be given to me, thus I have sufficient blessings from that.” The dreamer then asked about this son of his and was told that he actually runs a bookstore in a particular marketplace. The dreamer upon waking up, took off to look for this person in the marketplace, he inquired to the locals about such a person and was directed to the bookstore. He made careful observation of the man and noticed that after he had served his customers, his lips would not cease to recite the verse of the Holy Qur’an. He appeared to be among those whom memorize the Qur’an. (Habib ‘Umar commented that this man has one store but gains the profit of two stores, the other in the hereafter). This is an example of excellent upbringing. When the dreamer then tried to have a conversation with the man he said, “Don’t get me into much talk, if you have any need (from my shop) please go ahead and purchase.”

“Why are you lips busy, (what are you reciting)?” the dreamer pretend to ask. “Why do you ask?” replied the bookstore owner. The man then went on to relate about his dream where he met the father of owner of the bookstore. Upon relating the whole story, the bookstore keeper cried and said, “It is true I complete the Quran everyday and sent its rewards to my father”. After several years, the pious man had a similar dream but this time the father of the bookstore keeper was seen grabbing for food among the rest. The man then asked the reason for the change upon which he was told that the son had just passed away. Upon waking up he checked with the locals and found that it was true, the bookstore keeper had just passed away. If parents succeed in producing children who both memorize and practice the Quran, they will be granted a crown of light in the Day of Judgment whose light outshines even the Sun. If such an honour and bounty is given to the parents surely, the child who achieved will definitely be given nothing less. Let us then make a good intention in this blessed place and occasion. It is said that one good intention opens up seventy doors of blessings and goodness. There were many children whom became pious individuals due to their parents’ pure intentions made in the mosques.

We have stated five elements that are influential to the development of children, namely, hearing, sight, companionship, proper education and sitting among the religious scholars i.e. the ulama’. Let us intend to pay attention to these five aspects in order to produce pious offspirings. We ask Allah to be gathered with our wives and children in His Heaven. Let us leave this place with a renewed drive to correct our children and to correct the Muslim children. If there are many outside who desire to corrupt our children, then let us step forward to correct the Muslim children. As we began with the testimony of faith now we end with istighfar…

(End of transcript)

May Allah bless us with pious children whom are more pious than us. May Allah cast His veil of Protection on our children and the Ummah, Bless the Ummah, Help the Ummah, Forgive the Ummah, Amin Ya Rabbal ‘Aalamin…

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