Moulding our children pt.2- al-Habib ‘Umar bin Hafiz hafizahUllah

Bismillahi wal Alhamdulillah wa solatu was salaamu ‘ala Rasulillah, here is a simplified transcript of Habib ‘Umar’s lecture at Alkaff Mosque after Isya’ on the night of 18 October 2010.

….The Messenger of Allah s.a.w. consistently reminded parents to nurture and protect their children in a hadith in which he said, “A father shall be responsible for anything that happens to his family at home. A wife shall be held responsible for her obligations towards her husband.” We are made responsible by Allah to provide halal food for our children and prepare them to live a good life. The greatest of all obligations and that which has a high standing by Allah is to pay careful attention to their faith or iman and their character. Everything that is beneficial for them be it for this world or hereafter, is allowed/can be given/provided for them while paying careful watch over their faith and character development. Blessings shall increase upon us if the jobs that we as workers in the government or private institutions possess taqwa or God-Wariness.

It is related that in Europe that a non-muslim employer called upon his muslim employees during Ramadhan and asked them if they were fasting and said that if they were he shall cut their pay since their productivity would be expected to be lower. Some of them decided to break their fast because of this but a small group declined to give up their obligatory fast. They didn’t mind a pay-cut and told the employer to do as he wish. The non-muslim employer then censured the group whom had decided to give up their fast for betraying the trust of their religion, he fired them as he believed it wouldn’t be possible one day that they betray their own company. While the rest who have preserved the trust of their religion was allowed to stay with no pay-cut at all.

Know that every muslim that obey Allah’s command and is steadfast in them helps to spread Islam to the rest of the world. By disobeying Allah and betraying the trust actually hinders people from entering Islam. Thus we need to reflect upon what we have prepared our children with as they would one day interact with others and work in companies/institutions. The nurturing companions of the Prophet s.a.w. brought their newborn to the Prophet s.a.w. who would feed some dates that he s.a.w. had chewed to the new born. Thus, the first substance that enter the belly of the newborn is a portion from the Prophet’s s.a.w. blessed saliva. While the bigger kids were commanded by their parents (whom were the Prophet’s companions) to visit the Prophet every morning to kiss his blessed hands and get leftovers from his ablution water. Since they were relatively small they could easily walk in and out of the Prophet’s s.a.w. house especially during the time the Prophet return home from the mosque during Duha period. Even before their children could walk they would bring them to the laps of the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

Among them (companions) would command their sons to bring a container filled with water every morning to the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. so that he could put his blessed hands inside the water which then became the family’s drink for that day. Such attention given by the companions made their children great leaders and men of great faith and Allah made this world and the next subservient to them.

During the battle of Uhud, the Prophet made the army stand in a row to see if there were any children and old men to be sent back home. Some sons of the companions out fear of being sent back would stand on their toes to appear tall and able. This (zeal they portray) is a result of the nurturing they received and a fruit of what they heard and saw when they were at home with their parents. At that battle, one of these boys was sent back from battle and came to his father weeping and was asked why replied, “How can I not cry when a friend of mine had his parents came to The Messenger of Allah to request that their son be allowed to fight and the Messenger permitted while I was told to go back, and if I were to wrestle with that boy I would overcome him, why can’t I fight in the battle then? Please request the Messenger to allow me to fight.” In our age now, it is difficult to find such children who would cry if they were left behind for congregational prayer or circles of knowledge but they would cry if they were left out of football matches or films that they love. This is an effect of upbringing. This is the first step, the beginning, what would then happen to them later?

The father in the story narrated earlier than went to meet the Messenger of Allah to seek his permission for the son to fight in the battle. The father added that his son was more capable than his son’s friend whom the Messenger s.a.w. allowed to fight. The Messenger s.a.w. then called for the other boy and told them to wrestle in front of him s.a.w. Indeed the boy whom was told to return proved more capable by subduing his friend. The Messenger s.a.w. then allowed both to fight in the battle. The blessings from an excellent tarbiyah or upbringing were evident in all their families.

to be cont’d Insha’Allah

Moulding our children pt 1- Habib ‘Umar bin Hafiz

Bismillahi wal Alhamdulillah wa solatu was salaamu ‘ala Rasulillah, here is a simplified transcript of Habib ‘Umar’s lecture at Alkaff Mosque after Isya’ on the night of 18 October 2010.

Al-Habib ‘Umar bin Muhammad bin Salim bin Hafiz began by praising Allah Who has granted us a great blessing that is to gather in His House for His Sake Exalted is He. This gathering is included among Allah’s commands/law. All these (blessings) is granted by Allah especially for those among His servants whom He Love. Similarly as Allah had given us all the blessings Guidance is given to us for us to be thankful for it until we achieve perfection and increase in blessings. and we renew our pact/oath bearing witness that there is no God but Allah and Muhammad s.a.w. is the Messenger of Allah. We plead to Allah so that He will grant unto us the station of the two testimonies. All gifts and stations that are granted by him are based upon them i.e.testimony of faith (ash hadu-anlaailaha illa-Allah wa ashahadu anna Muhammadar Rasulullah) the first step to Realize the testimony is to get rid of the worship and obedience to the passions of the lower self within us. We then correct the anger in our hearts according to the Shari’ah/Law (i.e. we get angry only for the Sake of Allah nothing else)

We begin with sending prayers and blessings to the Presence of the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. who if it wasn’t for him we won’t be gathered here in this place. “Ya Allah send your peace and blessings upon the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. who has given us guidance and example”. And peace and blessings be upon those of his family s.a.w. whom Allah has made the Qur’an and them in harmony (hadith) until the day of judgement. And peace and blessings upon his companions among the muhajirin and ansar whom Allah has made them people whom He (Allah) is well-pleased with together with those who love them (muhajiriin and ansar) and He hates those who hates them. And peace and blessings be upon all His servants who follow upon their footsteps until the Day of Rising. And we seek peace and blessings for ourselves, our parents, families, teachers and all muslims.

Amma ba’adu, the subject matter for this gathering touches upon an issue that our Prophet s.a.w. was much concerned with. The subject that is the future of our children. The prophet s.a.w. strongly emphasizes upon us to teach and train our children both boys and girls the way to live. Our children include among his ummah/community whom he shall waiting for by the spring al-kawthar. The messnger of Allah reminded us to give attention to our children from the day of the solemnization of our marriage. In a hadith, he indicated, ‘…get married and have many children for I shall take pride in the size of my community on the Day of Rising’. Not everyone will have the chance to drink from his spring of the Prophet save those who passed away from this world upon his faith and love. The best way to die in faith and love is to put to practice the way that the Prophet s.a.w. had taught us.

Verily Allah has by His wisdom created in this world elements that influences both us and our children. We have to therefore give serious attention to these influences. Our children can be easily influenced by whatever they are exposed to in their houses and corruption can also occur outside. The first and fundamental avenue of influence are their sight and hearing. This was indicated by our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. when he made it a sunna for us to recite the call for prayer in the right ear and the iqaamah in the left ear of the newborn. We are well aware that a newborn cannot understand the words nor could the newborn stand for prayer. However here is a lesson/allusion for us that whatever was heard although not understood at that point of time will bear an effect upon the baby later in its life.

How many of our children whom after hearing just a single word, became disobedient to his/her parents? How many of our youths whom upon hearing only a single word, abandoned their canonical prayers? And how many whom after hearing only a single word had their faith shaken upon its roots? And how many after hearing just a single word lost in their hearts the magnification/deep reverence for companions of the Prophet, his family/ahlil beit, men of piety and gained instead the reverence for people whom are among the potential fuel for hellfire? How many of our youths became delinquents and a menace to society just from hearing a single word?. How many have there been people whose thoughts were influenced just by a single vision and how many people changed in character as a result of a single glimpse? How many have there been whom a single glimpse moved them to perform prohibited acts?

Verily our Lord declared “Verily, the hearing sight shall be questioned on the day of Rising.” The pious men of the past, whom even when they were in the Holy city of Mecca would accompany their children if they were going to the Sacred Mosque just to ensure they do not hear nor see that which Allah dislike along the way. Among them were Habib Muhammad bin Husayn al-Habshi of Mecca whom was a contemporary of the local Habib Nuh al-Habshi. The vices of that age was little as compared to now but they were much more strict and meticulous in the attention they gave to their children. In this age when vices are rife the attention given to our children is just too little.

I am amazed, O beloved assembly that in this age many parents do not pay sufficient attention on the development of their children and on that which they hear and see while there are others outside whom carefully plan the items that which they want to feed the ears and eyes of our children.

To be continued InsyaAllah…
I apologise if there are any mistakes in this simplified translation and transcript. May we gain benefit from Habib ‘Umar’s knowledge, amin.

A man is with whom he loves?

A’uzubillahi minashaitonir rojeem, Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem, Allahumma Solli wa Sallim wa Baarik ‘ala Sayidina Muhammadin wa ‘ala aalihi wa sohbihi ajma’in…

Imam ‘Abdullah Bin ‘Alawi Al-Haddad r.a. was asked whether the one who loves certain people but does not behave as they do will be with them unconditionally as can be understood from the hadith: “A man is with whom he loves.”

The Imam, may Allah be pleased with him answered: It appears to us from the statements of authoritative commentators of this hadith that this is limited to some aspects of the matter and not all of them. The one who loves must conform to the loved one in all things including Unification/Tauhid, the careful performance of obligatory acts, the avoidance of perilous prohibited acts, and the performance of whatever good works that are within reach.

For to love someone is to emulate and follow him as much as possible, no love is true otherwise, for it will then be nothing but words devoid of any reality. Al-Hasan Al-Basri (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “Do not be deceived by the hadith ‘A man is with whom he loves’ when [you suffer from] distraction, illusion and the desertion of good works, for the ahlul kitab love their Prophets but are of certainty not with them.” Similarly, some of the herectics of this community/umma love some of the Companions (may Allah’s Pleasure be with them) greatly, they are loyal to them and may go so far as to lose their lives for them; nevertheless, they are of certainty not with them since they have gone against their way and example by detesting and disowning the other Companions for whom they show no loyalty, as well as by other innovations in religion.

This matter is one on which there is no disagreement. As this is so with innovations, the same, or nearly so, will of necessity apply to transgressions, mixing [good with evil works] and persistent sinning. These are degrees of good and evil and [other degrees] can be measured in a similar manner.

The ugliest of ugly things is disbelief in all its many degrees; then innovations, which are not all equal; then depravity/corruption/perversions; then mixing good with evil; and these last two also exhibit many degrees. The opposite of all this can equally well be stated about good; so understand our indications and ponder on our words for they are both highly valuable and indispensable. With reflection the intended goal will appear and the meaning will become clear. Allah guides whom He wills to a straight path.

On another instance, the Imam answered as such: Know (may Allah be your Teacher) that this hadith induces both hope and alarm/fear, for a man is with whom he loves whether they be righteous or corrupt, what then of those who love the ‘accursed world’ and are thus with it? The togetherness which is the consequence of love will inevitably occur. However, love cannot be present unless one conforms to the beloved’s acts and abstentions as far as possible. Love is a claim that can be established only with the proof of such conformity (of acts etc.).

The one who claims to love a person but diverges/differs from him in those of his aims and desires which are within his power, who neither supports those whom he supports nor shows hostility to those he is hostile to, will logically be deemed to be untrue. True, it is not necessary to conform to the beloved in all his actions for this togetherness to occur, for then one would become effectively equal in everything where such equality is possible. Know then that love can never be without such conformity.

Wallahu ‘alam…

Excerpts from The Sublime Treasures Answers to Sufi Questions by Imam al-Haddad translated by Mostafa al-Badawi

The trick of The Cursed one

A’uzubillahi minashaitonir Rojeem, Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem, Allahuma Solli wa Salleem ‘ala Sayidina Muhammmadin wa aalihi wa sohbihi ajama’in…

(The following is taken from the discourses of al-Qutb al-Irshad Imam ‘Abdullah Bin ‘Alawi al-Haddad from a malay book by Habib Naufal al-‘Aydarus)
One of the most subtlest trick/guile of Shaiton is to prevent a person from reaping benefits (from a good action) by making the person busy thinking about doing other good actions/deeds while doing the good action, as a result, this person was unable to do the former (the one he is doing at the moment) good deed properly in the best manner.

For this reason, do not be hasty, do not rush to finish a good action just to do another. The best is to complete whatever good action/deed/amal solih one is doing in the best manner possible before proceeding to other good deeds. Thus, this is how Shaiton diverts a person from the amal solih he/she is doing to think about other amal solih that they’re not doing.

Therefore, we know from this that any form of stray thought or whisper that occur in the mind/heart during prayer, dhikrullah, or recitation of Quranul Kareem comes from Shaiton the cursed. Even though the whisper invites one to do virtuous deeds. Other than this, whispers that invite to actions which are permissible/mubah (only) or disliked/makruh, then they are obviously from Shaiton. Especially those that invite to do the prohibited/haram

The Red Sulphur – Speech cont’d

A’uzubillahi minashaitonir Rojeem, Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem, Allahuma Solli wa Salleem ‘ala Sayidina Muhammmadin wa aalihi wa sohbihi…

In the last post we stopped at the lowest level of speech i.e. distancing oneself from forbidden speech and the types of forbidden speech. The next level or higher level of speech is that which be directed to the various types of recitation and invocations and also sincere good counsel and calling /summoning people to Allah ta’ala. It is mentioned in a tradition that, ‘There is no morning save that the various limbs of the human being call out to the tongue saying,”Fear Allah concerning (for the sake of) us! Because we are only through you. If you are upright, we will be upright and if you’re crooked, we will be crooked.”‘ Thus the tongue has to be used for beneficial speech.

In the issue of singing or poetry for recreation or amusement to the self to energise it, then it should be (composed of) good speech (words) and how excelllent it would be if it was the speech of the Companions or Tabi’in or the awliya’ or the pious. There is a hadith that goes, “All the speech of the son of Adam is against him and not for him save dhikrullah and that which assist/leads to it.” Allah ta’ala says, “And they were guided to good/pure speech..”


As for sleep, it is among the needs of man which should be organized. So they apply the Prophetic Way with regards to sleep. The quantity is specified in a 24-hr period of time. A person who is accustomed to sleep 8 hours in the 24-hr period should decrease that amount gradually. So if a person decreases it by 15 minutes in every three or four months, that would not affect him/her at all until they can bring it to a moderate amount. A moderate amount here is 6 hours in a 24-hr period.

A person through disciplining him/herself and gradual decrease will bring it down to below 6 hours as well. We know some of our shaykhs and their shaykhs whom sleep was no more than two hours. they would suffice with this in a 24 hr period. Achieving this requires resolve and the person must be true and sincere. Doing istighfar before sunset and tasbih, tahmid, tahlil (33, 33, 34 times ea.) will aid the person. The time to sleep should be chosen and the best is at the beginning of the night and also a short nap around noon.